From an early age, I developed the sense that I took up too much space and that my body needed to be fixed. This eventually led to to me dieting at the age of twelve years old, which quickly developed into an eating disorder. Most of my teenage years and early twenties was filled with time in and out of residential, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, and outpatient treatment. Despite all of the time spent in treatment, I found myself in a cycle of quasi-recovery and relapse. I even found that my eating disorder behaviors morphed from only restriction to eventually also include binging, purging, and compulsive exercise. I was trapped in the chaotic and exhausting mix of Anorexia and Bulimia.

So when and how did I recover? Admittedly, no single, glamorous event helped recovery to click into place. Rather, it was a culmination of all of the experience and insight that I gained in various treatment centers and my attempts at recovery. However, I did find the shared experiences and guidance from those in recovery, whether they were former treatment center patients or recovered clinicians, the most beneficial in validating my experience and gaining insight into what recovery looked like. Recovery is far from a linear process and for me required the constant reminder of what my true, healthy-self values were and how I wanted my life to look long-term. I am confident in stating now, that I have reached recovery, which once felt impossible.

My hope is that my lived experience will also help you like it did for me. Eating disorders are very isolating and filled with shame, but recovery does not have to be that way. Yes, the road is long and difficult, but with my support, I aim to continuously remind you of the hope for the future and life worth living that you can create.